Monday 16 February 2009

Starbucks cares what race I am?

Internet at home not working since yesterday. Couldn't tahan more than 24 hours without e-mail/facebook/malaysiakini so ran to Starbucks in Telawi 3 (bangsar). Was so surprised to see that I had to fill in a questionnaire before I could access the web. And among the questions, was of course, RACE...!!!! totally made me see red...I think the lady across from me did not appreciate my outburst, disrupting her otherwise peaceful monday morning (sorry for that, lady, but you should also be more socially aware and actually care about things like this instead of giving me a blank look with glazed over eyes!).
Anyways was so annoyed, decided to give Starbucks a call and an e-mail about this...sent e-mail first, then only called.

Phone call went quite OK - first of all these was no extension to get to the customer relations team, so I spoke to someone on the marketing team. She was very patient and listened to my rant and explained that the survey was set up together with MOL, blah blah blah. Apologised that I was offended by the survey, but also stated that they need to do this for marketing, to understand their customer demographics, etc.

Received a similar-sounding e-mail just a few minutes ago. The best part of the entire e-mail was that the person said they want to know my race so that they can send personalised festive greetings to me in time to come! Can-ah like that? Just because I put myself down as an ethnic Chinese means I get Chinese New Year greetings? What if I am a Chinese Muslim or Chinese Christian or whatever other combination? How will knowing my RACE tell you that? Seriously?!

On the one hand, I do understand that they want to profile their customers, see who spends more time at their outlets, etc, etc. At the same time, I also think that this kind of profiling reinforces stereotypes, e.g., Chinese people can't eat spicy food, Indians like mutton, etc, etc. Just because I am of a certain ethnic background, it doesn't mean I subscribe to a particular behaviour JUST BECAUSE of my ethnicity! It probably has more to do with my upbringing and surroundings more than my genetic make-up.

My issue also was that I did not have the opportunity to decline answering the question, neither could I say "It's none of your business, I am MALAYSIAN first and foremost." In addition, I think it is wrong for these marketing-types to just assume that they have the right to ask these kind of questions without explaining the context, ie WHY they were seeking this info, and HOW they were going to use my personal information. It is not their god-given RIGHT to find out these things, it's a privilege that we share with them our information. So they should have a bit more respect for our intelligence and explain to us what they're doing and why, and give us a choice if we want to answer their questions or not. It is OUR right to choose whether to answer or not.

Anyways, FYI, here is the e-mail I sent to Starbucks this morning, followed by the response which came in about 3-4 hours after I'd sent the mail.

Sent: Monday, February 16, 2009 2:18 PM
To: Customer
Subject: Query: relevance of race

Dear Sir/Madam

I would like to express my disappointment at my experience at Starbucks Bangsar (Telawi) this morning. I went there to use the internet after a long time, and after getting my food and drinks, I attempted to log on to the internet at this outlet. I was surprised to see that I needed to fill in a questionnaire with my e-mail address and other personal information before being able to use the internet at this outlet.

I was particularly annoyed to see that the questionnaire required me to state my race. I am Malaysian first and foremost and I do not think it is anybody's business what my ethnicity is. The usage of the term race in itself is insulting and derogatory, and does not respect my right to privacy as an individual.

I would understand if you were gathering such information (in addition to my annual income, which again, I think is none of your business) for demographic purposes. But I think that best practice survey methods would include the following elements as well:
i) A brief explanation as to WHY you are gathering such information and HOW my personal data would be used
ii) An option such as "Not Applicable" or "Choose not to respond" so that people do not need to disclose private information if they want to.

As an international company which purports to be a responsible business and social citizen, I am amazed that Starbucks stoops to racial profiling and such irresponsible information gathering methods. I hope that you will address this matter and correct the situation ASAP, before this matter is blown out of proportion in the media.

Thank you and regards

----

Dear efghi

Greetings from Starbucks Coffee!

Thank you for taking the time to let us know about your recent experience on completing the Wi-Fi questionnaire in our outlet at Bangsar.

At Starbucks, we go to great lengths and take very many steps to ensure 100% customer satisfaction every day, every time and every single cup. It appears that we have let you down, and for that, we apologize for the negative experience you encountered.

The questionnaire, initiated by our Wi-Fi provider and tie-in partner, MOL, is not intended to discriminate any of our customers. The data collected will be used to help us understand our customers better demographically and present us as chance to communicate to them on a more personalized approach.

By knowing customers’ race, we intend to send personalized festive greetings in near future and by no means that we are trying to profile any of our customers.

We would like to assure you that we take your comments seriously and we will work closely with MOL to review and modify the format of the questionnaire accordingly to avoid any further confusion.

Again, thank you for taking the time to bring this matter to our attention .The best way that we can improve is when people who aren’t satisfied tell us so and tell us why. You’ve given us an opportunity to improve, and hopefully we will not disappoint you on your next visit.

Once again, thank you for writing to us and we welcome any comments for us to further enhance your Starbucks Experience at our stores.

We look forward to seeing you back in our Starbucks stores and serving you for many years to come.

Have a “Grande” Day!

Best Regards,

abcd

manager, marketing and category

district coffee master

Friday 16 January 2009

Each of us has a role

Was sent this inspiring piece by a friend. This editorial was written by the editor of a Sri Lankan paper, The Leader. He was killed (after numerous threats to his life over the years) for his beliefs. Anticipating that his life would be ended abruptly, he had prepared this editorial to be published after his death.

Lasantha Wickrematunga knew what his ultimate fate would be - but he never succomed to human fraility.
Editorial


And Then They Came For Me

No other profession calls on its practitioners to lay down their lives for their art save the armed forces and, in Sri Lanka, journalism. In the course of the past few years, the independent media have increasingly come under attack. Electronic and print-media institutions have been burnt, bombed, sealed and coerced. Countless journalists have been harassed, threatened and killed. It has been my honour to belong to all those categories and now especially the last.

I have been in the business of journalism a good long time. Indeed, 2009 will be The Sunday Leader's 15th year. Many things have changed in Sri Lanka during that time, and it does not need me to tell you that the greater part of that change has been for the worse. We find ourselves in the midst of a civil war ruthlessly prosecuted by protagonists whose bloodlust knows no bounds. Terror, whether perpetrated by terrorists or the state, has become the order of the day. Indeed, murder has become the primary tool whereby the state seeks to control the organs of liberty. Today it is the journalists, tomorrow it will be the judges. For neither group have the risks ever been higher or the stakes lower.

Why then do we do it? I often wonder that. After all, I too am a husband, and the father of three wonderful children. I too have responsibilities and obligations that transcend my profession, be it the law or journalism. Is it worth the risk? Many people tell me it is not. Friends tell me to revert to the bar, and goodness knows it offers a better and safer livelihood. Others, including political leaders on both sides, have at various times sought to induce me to take to politics, going so far as to offer me ministries of my choice. Diplomats, recognising the risk journalists face in Sri Lanka, have offered me safe passage and the right of residence in their countries. Whatever else I may have been stuck for, I have not been stuck for choice.

But there is a calling that is yet above high office, fame, lucre and security. It is the call of conscience.

The Sunday Leader has been a controversial newspaper because we say it like we see it: whether it be a spade, a thief or a murderer, we call it by that name. We do not hide behind euphemism. The investigative articles we print are supported by documentary evidence thanks to the public-spiritedness of citizens who at great risk to themselves pass on this material to us. We have exposed scandal after scandal, and never once in these 15 years has anyone proved us wrong or successfully prosecuted us.

The free media serve as a mirror in which the public can see itself sans mascara and styling gel. From us you learn the state of your nation, and especially its management by the people you elected to give your children a better future. Sometimes the image you see in that mirror is not a pleasant one. But while you may grumble in the privacy of your armchair, the journalists who hold the mirror up to you do so publicly and at great risk to themselves. That is our calling, and we do not shirk it.

Every newspaper has its angle, and we do not hide the fact that we have ours. Our commitment is to see Sri Lanka as a transparent, secular, liberal democracy. Think about those words, for they each has profound meaning. Transparent because government must be openly accountable to the people and never abuse their trust. Secular because in a multi-ethnic and multi-cultural society such as ours, secularism offers the only common ground by which we might all be united. Liberal because we recognise that all human beings are created different, and we need to accept others for what they are and not what we would like them to be. And democratic... well, if you need me to explain why that is important, you'd best stop buying this paper.

The Sunday Leader has never sought safety by unquestioningly articulating the majority view. Let's face it, that is the way to sell newspapers. On the contrary, as our opinion pieces over the years amply demonstrate, we often voice ideas that many people find distasteful. For example, we have consistently espoused the view that while separatist terrorism must be eradicated, it is more important to address the root causes of terrorism, and urged government to view Sri Lanka's ethnic strife in the context of history and not through the telescope of terrorism. We have also agitated against state terrorism in the so-called war against terror, and made no secret of our horror that Sri Lanka is the only country in the world routinely to bomb its own citizens. For these views we have been labelled traitors, and if this be treachery, we wear that label proudly.

Many people suspect that The Sunday Leader has a political agenda: it does not. If we appear more critical of the government than of the opposition it is only because we believe that - pray excuse cricketing argot - there is no point in bowling to the fielding side. Remember that for the few years of our existence in which the UNP was in office, we proved to be the biggest thorn in its flesh, exposing excess and corruption wherever it occurred. Indeed, the steady stream of embarrassing expos‚s we published may well have served to precipitate the downfall of that government.

Neither should our distaste for the war be interpreted to mean that we support the Tigers. The LTTE are among the most ruthless and bloodthirsty organisations ever to have infested the planet. There is no gainsaying that it must be eradicated. But to do so by violating the rights of Tamil citizens, bombing and shooting them mercilessly, is not only wrong but shames the Sinhalese, whose claim to be custodians of the dhamma is forever called into question by this savagery, much of which is unknown to the public because of censorship.

What is more, a military occupation of the country's north and east will require the Tamil people of those regions to live eternally as second-class citizens, deprived of all self respect. Do not imagine that you can placate them by showering "development" and "reconstruction" on them in the post-war era. The wounds of war will scar them forever, and you will also have an even more bitter and hateful Diaspora to contend with. A problem amenable to a political solution will thus become a festering wound that will yield strife for all eternity. If I seem angry and frustrated, it is only because most of my countrymen - and all of the government - cannot see this writing so plainly on the wall.

It is well known that I was on two occasions brutally assaulted, while on another my house was sprayed with machine-gun fire. Despite the government's sanctimonious assurances, there was never a serious police inquiry into the perpetrators of these attacks, and the attackers were never apprehended. In all these cases, I have reason to believe the attacks were inspired by the government. When finally I am killed, it will be the government that kills me.

The irony in this is that, unknown to most of the public, Mahinda and I have been friends for more than a quarter century. Indeed, I suspect that I am one of the few people remaining who routinely addresses him by his first name and uses the familiar Sinhala address oya when talking to him. Although I do not attend the meetings he periodically holds for newspaper editors, hardly a month passes when we do not meet, privately or with a few close friends present, late at night at President's House. There we swap yarns, discuss politics and joke about the good old days. A few remarks to him would therefore be in order here.

Mahinda, when you finally fought your way to the SLFP presidential nomination in 2005, nowhere were you welcomed more warmly than in this column. Indeed, we broke with a decade of tradition by referring to you throughout by your first name. So well known were your commitments to human rights and liberal values that we ushered you in like a breath of fresh air. Then, through an act of folly, you got yourself involved in the Helping Hambantota scandal. It was after a lot of soul-searching that we broke the story, at the same time urging you to return the money. By the time you did so several weeks later, a great blow had been struck to your reputation. It is one you are still trying to live down.

You have told me yourself that you were not greedy for the presidency. You did not have to hanker after it: it fell into your lap. You have told me that your sons are your greatest joy, and that you love spending time with them, leaving your brothers to operate the machinery of state. Now, it is clear to all who will see that that machinery has operated so well that my sons and daughter do not themselves have a father.

In the wake of my death I know you will make all the usual sanctimonious noises and call upon the police to hold a swift and thorough inquiry. But like all the inquiries you have ordered in the past, nothing will come of this one, too. For truth be told, we both know who will be behind my death, but dare not call his name. Not just my life, but yours too, depends on it.

Sadly, for all the dreams you had for our country in your younger days, in just three years you have reduced it to rubble. In the name of patriotism you have trampled on human rights, nurtured unbridled corruption and squandered public money like no other President before you. Indeed, your conduct has been like a small child suddenly let loose in a toyshop. That analogy is perhaps inapt because no child could have caused so much blood to be spilled on this land as you have, or trampled on the rights of its citizens as you do. Although you are now so drunk with power that you cannot see it, you will come to regret your sons having so rich an inheritance of blood. It can only bring tragedy. As for me, it is with a clear conscience that I go to meet my Maker. I wish, when your time finally comes, you could do the same. I wish.

As for me, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I walked tall and bowed to no man. And I have not travelled this journey alone. Fellow journalists in other branches of the media walked with me: most of them are now dead, imprisoned without trial or exiled in far-off lands. Others walk in the shadow of death that your Presidency has cast on the freedoms for which you once fought so hard. You will never be allowed to forget that my death took place under your watch. As anguished as I know you will be, I also know that you will have no choice but to protect my killers: you will see to it that the guilty one is never convicted. You have no choice. I feel sorry for you, and Shiranthi will have a long time to spend on her knees when next she goes for Confession for it is not just her owns sins which she must confess, but those of her extended family that keeps you in office.

As for the readers of The Sunday Leader, what can I say but Thank You for supporting our mission. We have espoused unpopular causes, stood up for those too feeble to stand up for themselves, locked horns with the high and mighty so swollen with power that they have forgotten their roots, exposed corruption and the waste of your hard-earned tax rupees, and made sure that whatever the propaganda of the day, you were allowed to hear a contrary view. For this I - and my family - have now paid the price that I have long known I will one day have to pay. I am - and have always been - ready for that. I have done nothing to prevent this outcome: no security, no precautions. I want my murderer to know that I am not a coward like he is, hiding behind human shields while condemning thousands of innocents to death. What am I among so many? It has long been written that my life would be taken, and by whom. All that remains to be written is when.

That The Sunday Leader will continue fighting the good fight, too, is written. For I did not fight this fight alone. Many more of us have to be - and will be - killed before The Leader is laid to rest. I hope my assassination will be seen not as a defeat of freedom but an inspiration for those who survive to step up their efforts. Indeed, I hope that it will help galvanise forces that will usher in a new era of human liberty in our beloved motherland. I also hope it will open the eyes of your President to the fact that however many are slaughtered in the name of patriotism, the human spirit will endure and flourish. Not all the Rajapakses combined can kill that.

People often ask me why I take such risks and tell me it is a matter of time before I am bumped off. Of course I know that: it is inevitable. But if we do not speak out now, there will be no one left to speak for those who cannot, whether they be ethnic minorities, the disadvantaged or the persecuted. An example that has inspired me throughout my career in journalism has been that of the German theologian, Martin Niem"ller. In his youth he was an anti-Semite and an admirer of Hitler. As Nazism took hold in Germany, however, he saw Nazism for what it was: it was not just the Jews Hitler sought to extirpate, it was just about anyone with an alternate point of view. Niem"ller spoke out, and for his trouble was incarcerated in the Sachsenhausen and Dachau concentration camps from 1937 to 1945, and very nearly executed. While incarcerated, Niem"ller wrote a poem that, from the first time I read it in my teenage years, stuck hauntingly in my mind:

First they came for the Jews

and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists

and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists

and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me

and there was no one left to speak out for me.

If you remember nothing else, remember this: The Leader is there for you, be you Sinhalese, Tamil, Muslim, low-caste, homosexual, dissident or disabled. Its staff will fight on, unbowed and unafraid, with the courage to which you have become accustomed. Do not take that commitment for granted. Let there be no doubt that whatever sacrifices we journalists make, they are not made for our own glory or enrichment: they are made for you. Whether you deserve their sacrifice is another matter. As for me, God knows I tried.

Wednesday 10 September 2008

Do you hear the people sing?

Just watched the musical, Les Miserables. It was REALLY good!! Wanted to share one of my favourite songs from the entire musical (and there were many good songs)...at the point where young students were getting inspired for the revolution at the barricades.
REALLY wish that UMNO, BN, and all other racist Malaysians would hear the people sing and do the right thing for the country and the people, not their wallets and bank accounts.

Do you hear the people sing? - from Les Miserables the musical
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

COMBEFERRE
Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Courfeyrac:
Then join in the fight
That will give you the right to be free!

ALL
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

FEUILLY
Will you give all you can give
So that our banner may advance
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the martyrs
Will water the meadows of France!

ALL
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Sunday 24 August 2008

Lets not fail our future generations today...

Anwar can win with a majority of 1 vote for all I care - I just want him to win. We need change in this country that we love so much. And we need it now. And Anwar and his team seem prepared to try to deliver this change.
Whether or not he is going to be a good PM, and whether or not things really change in Malaysia going forward is up to the pressure that we, the people, put on the PM and his new government. They seem more willing to listen and to make practical changes than the present government. They seem more willing to consider options to make Malaysia truly a home for each and every one of us, regardless of race or religion. And they seem more willing to make tough calls and adapt in the face of challenges. That's the kind of leadership that we need for this country.
And if they do a lousy job, we have the right to kick them out in 5 years time. Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all. We can do this, Malaysia, let's not fail our future generations today!!!

Sunday 15 June 2008

Start with the man in the mirror...

EVERYONE can play a small part in building the Malaysia of the future...up to you if you want to rise to the occassion and be part of history...or just sit at the sidelines and comment!
Some thought-starters in this article by Nathaniel Tan, as posted on his blog, jelas.info.
http://jelas.info/2008/04/08/understanding-the-malay-dilemma-how-you-can-ensure-a-racism-free-malaysia/#comment-116827


Understanding the Malay Dilemma - How YOU can ensure a racism-free Malaysia

I’ve been meaning to write this for a mighty long time, as it’s something I believe quite strongly in.

Lately I have been looking at the possibility of Umno’s demise (see Part 1 and Part 2). Again, I think that on the whole, this would be a positive thing, but if we do not take the right attitudes down this road, it will be fraught with no good.

I address this post in large part to non-Malays, because as a non-Malay myself, I think the following is an important position for me to take and to articulate, for reasons that I hope will become evident.The key to a healthy transition from an Umno dominated Malaysia to a relatively Umno-less one (they keep keep Johor and maybe Pahang, that’s not the end of the world :) is to under stand the concerns of not only your rabid Umno supporter, but your more general, middle ground Malay Malaysian as well.

We have to affirm and respond to what are real, genuine, and not completely unfounded fears.

The first step along this path is to see Malaysia in the same context a Malay might. Most non-Malays view their situation in a purely Malaysian context. Many Malays understandably view their position in a more global, universal context.

I feel that it is a common apprehension among Malays that their culture and their heritage run the risk of being overrun by globalisation. In a world dominated by English-speaking, materialist non-Muslims, how is a small culture to survive?

Add that to the fact that rightly or wrongly, many Malays perceive the economy, many professions and wealth in general in Malaysia, to be dominated by non-Malays. True, this perception could possibly be due largely to Umno fear-mongering, but that in itself does not detract from the weight of that perception.

A parallel exists where religion is concerned. To many Muslims around the globe, Islam is under siege. So while most non-Muslims see themselves as being contained by a Muslim majority, Muslims feel called to defend their faith against encroachment from forces both local and foreign.

This type of siege mentality must be appreciated to the fullest. Mahathir’s old warning that Malays must take care to ensure that they never end up like Native Americans, black South Africans or Australian Aboriginies carry weight for a reason.

Whether we like it or not, not only the Umno hardcore, but many middle ground Malays would see the removal of Umno from federal power as a serious blow towards the Malay position.

I, like you perhaps, obviously believe that the future of the Malays - along with every single other Malaysian - would be better off, better cared for, and better protected under a Pakatan government. Yet, it is not enough for us to believe this; how can we help others believe it?

Here, I find Kian Ming has a few days ago articulated a number of the things I wanted to suggest.

At the same time, I wish that there was a Chinese or Indian politician who would tell his non- Malay constituents about the deep insecurities felt by many in the Malay community, about how they feel that they might be overrun in their ‘own’ country, as it were, if the NEP were to be lifted, much like how the non-White community in South Africa were marginalised under apartheid.

I wish that there was a Chinese or Indian politician who would tell his non-Malay constituents about the genuine fear that many Malays feel when they perceive that Islam is being ‘attacked’ by organisations such as Article 11 or the Interfaith Commission, about how this is related to the perception that Islam is being ‘attacked’ on a global scale in the war on terrorism.

I wish that there was a Chinese or Indian politician who would tell his non-Malay constituents that many Malays still feel as if many non-Malays are reluctant to embrace a Malaysian identity and would rather retain one which seemed to place more emphasis on ancestral ties and that many non-Malays are still reluctant to embrace BM as the national language of the nation.

Basically, I feel it is the duty of non-Malay believers in a better Malaysia, be they Pakatan sympathisers or not, to help assuage some of the fears of the Malays.

This is not a one way street. I am encouraged to read and see all sorts of signals from Pas that indicate their going through great pains to assure and affirm the needs of the non-Muslim community.

It is not enough for us to applaud these actions, we have to reciprocate in kind.

It is very meaningful when Anwar talks about the need for a race-blind Malaysian Economic Agenda, or when Hadi Awang speaks passionately about the rights of non-Muslims. Now we have to do our part.

There are countless issues we can address, in addition to what Kian Ming touched on above.

For instance, we can speak about the need to protect and encourage the growth of Malay culture and heritage in a world dominated by Western culture. We can speak out against the policies of private companies that for no good reason require job applicants to have Chinese language skills. We can speak up for the countless underprivileged Malay communities, be they urban squatters or rural poor.

If you don’t think these are genuine problems, I humbly invite you to do some soul-searching and look around with more open eyes.

It doesn’t stop there. We obviously have to practise a sincere zero-tolerance policy on snide jokes about Malays being lazy, spoilt, etc etc. Don’t make such remarks, and don’t just smile quietly when your friends do.

There are also other ‘battles’ that we have to pick with greater care. I don’t have strong feelings on the use of the term ‘Allah,’ but from an ethnic relations standpoint, I do have to wonder if those advocating its use by non-Muslims really have that much to gain from a stance, as compared to the strain it may put on religious relations.

I admit to being quite perturbed with statements like: “Saya betul-betul tidak faham kenapa segelintir orang amat sensitif jika menyentuh perkara berkaitan babi atau daging babi.”

Jika betul-betul tak faham, berusahalah untuk faham sket.

The new dawn for Malaysian politics requires politicians to up their game somewhat where nuances and maturity are concerned, as well as to leave behind old mindsets. Lim Kit Siang seems to be doing a great job evolving, as witnessed by his more measured statemens and the way he responded and changed his stance over the Perak MB issue. That, along with statements from Hadi Awang, Husam Musa (and even the Kelantan Deputy MB who clarified his backbone statement in Harakah) really signal positive maturing.

But we can’t just leave it to politicians. You and I have to do our part too. I’m quite confident my Malay brothers and sisters will help to break this new ground. The rest of us are going to have to do the same, and go above and beyond, and far out of our way, to send all the right signals to assure Malay Malaysians that even if Umno were to fade, Malay culture, Malay heritage, and Malay dignity will all continue to be protected and upheld according to the best traditions of defending human rights for all Malaysians.

Monday 9 June 2008

Support Irene Fernandez

Received this e-mail from Irene's son...

The trial of Irene Fernandez resumes this month.

Date: 11th June 2008
Time: 9.00 a.m.
Venue: Kuala Lumpur High Court, Kompleks Mahkamah Kuala Lumpur, Jalan Duta, 50592 Kuala Lumpur.

Please show your support by being present in the court room.
Please tell your friends.
Please be present in thought & spirit.
Please pray.
Please channel positive thoughts.

Please Never underestimate the power of solidarity.


http://www.rightlivelihood.org/irene-fernandez.html

Thank you.

The Children,

Tania Jo. Maliamauv.,

Camverra Jose Maliamauv.,

Katrina Jorene Maliamauv

Thursday 5 June 2008

Toni Kasim - A Truly Amazing Person

Am so sad that Toni is no longer in this world...met her a long time ago when I was volunteering with MAC. She stuck in my mind because of her bubbly personality, her passion for her work and her commitment to making a difference, regardless of how long it would take or how difficult the path would be. Truly an amazing human being, and I am privileged to have known her. Rest in Peace, Toni.

Article by JJRay below taken from Malaysiakini - http://www.malaysiakini.com/opinions/83993

We were supposed to get down to having coffee, something which we both kept postponing because of our respective schedules. And that coffee affair will never take place for that friend, Toni Kasim, is no longer in our midst.

MCPX

Toni or Zaitun Kasim, a noted human rights activist, passed away on Wednesday (June 4) at 5am at her sister’s house at Taman Mesra, Batu Tiga in Shah Alam after a bout with duodenal cancer over the past few months. She was 41.

zaitun toni kassimWhen news reached me that she was no more, I was shocked, unable to accept the fact that she was indeed gone. Whilst we her friends knew the grim prognosis, being the typical mortals that we are, deep in our hearts we silently prayed for a miracle to happen. It never did.

I met Toni for the last time early this year and at that point she was not yet diagnosed with the cancer. But she was terrified and with tears in her eyes said to me “I don’t want to die”. I did not know what to say so I held her hands and encouraged her to fight the cancer.

She was tired of fighting the pain, she told me. I could sense her anger at being bed-ridden, confined for a period of time in hospital and not being able to do what she loved best – work.

“I can’t wait to get back to work. It’s what keeps me going,” she shared.

Praying for her swift healing

But the cancer which spread very quickly left her tired, so tired and in pain that at one point she decided not to accept visitors. Maybe she was tired of trying to not to be tired. Text messages sent through mobile phones to her often went unanswered but her friends knew why and respected her decision to be left alone.

We each tried helping in whatever way we could. Some stood vigil at the hospital, helping her in and out of bed while others prayed for her, sending her reiki, praying for her swift healing.

But reality was harsh, in that Toni was fighting against time. While we all realised that just too well, we still prayed for a miracle.

Life is transient and so it was with our friend Zaitun, better known to all of us as Toni. Tears flowed down our cheeks as we, her near and dear ones, visited her for the last time at the mosque in Shah Alam where she was being readied for burial. While she finally found respite from her suffering, it tore our hearts to see a friend, always zestful and hard working, lay sound asleep. There was nothing left to do. Tears flowed and continue to flow.

Watching her at the mosque for the last time brought back memories of how we first met. I was attending a workshop organised by Sisters in Islam, an outfit that Toni worked with several years ago. I had walked into the room while a session was on and as I sheepishly took my seat, Toni, who was seated across me got up, extended her hand and said “Hi, I’m Toni Kasim”.

I liked her style, her ability to not let people dictate how she should behave and what she should say. She followed her heart and maybe that is why she was adored by her friends.

Post- workshop, she gave me a ride back and while in the car we chatted further. I found out we were once school mates and her sister Aishah and mine used to be classmates while her father was the manager of the bank where my father worked at. Although it has been many years I can still recall the day when my sister had informed us that Aishah and Toni’s father, Encik Kasim as we addressed him, had passed away due to a heart attack.

Talking to Toni was always nice. She had the gift of making people comfortable, of wanting to talk without inhibitions. That we will now miss sorely.

From then on, I never failed to “harass” her whenever I needed comments for stories I was pursuing. She complained to me once that the press had a tendency to misquote her so she decided to refrain from giving comments. I promised her no such problem would occur in my case. Once she had given me her comments, I would read them out to her or summarise her views, and voila! She became my favourite contact.

Her passion for life never ceased to amaze me. She believed in living life to the fullest and being young at heart. I remember wishing her happy birthday when she turned 39 and she replied: “I wish to be young forever…”.

As I write, tears swell up...

Due to her work commitments and mine, we never actually got down to meeting for a chat. It was always a work-related meeting and while coffee was always on the menu, we were never able to get down to doing it. We took things for granted. I think we instead took life for granted and kept postponing the coffee meet. That I regret very much.

There were moments when I was tempted to call her up and ask how she was doing. But fearing that I would be disturbing her process of recuperation, I never did call her up after she was discharged from hospital and stayed at her sister’s to rest. Once or twice, she did reply to my SMS’. And I left it at that, somehow naively believing all would be well.

I write this tribute six hours after Toni’s burial took place. Once I got back from the burial ground, I took a shower and when I finally sat down on the sofa, I broke down. I cried because I would miss a dear friend who made it a point to help whenever she could. I cried because I felt helpless watching a dear friend die. I cried because I wanted her to get up and say, “Hi, I’m Toni Kasim”.

As I write, tears swell up because I realise Toni Kasim will always be missed. While I allowed tears to unveil my grief, I looked at the weather turning foul, the blinding lightning, the deafening claps of thunder and a heavy downpour accompanying my grief and the grief of all those whose hearts Toni had touched.

For some strange reason, I wished I could go wake her up from her eternal place of rest and ask her to treat me to that coffee that she had promised. And I would only be too happy to continue “harassing” her for comments because I knew she enjoyed speaking her mind and I enjoyed talking to an individual who always could speak her mind. Never mind that she took a knock at me once for not being “visible” in supporting the issues that I wrote about. That was Toni Kasim!

As I write this tribute, I notice the sunset is extremely beautiful today. It had rained cats and dogs for over two hours and now the sun too says adieu, flashing its rays of hope beautifully for the arrival of yet another day. Toni, wherever you may be, know that we will continue where you have left, our dream being the same, to make the world a home for one and all.

Toni, we will always remember you.
May your soul rest in place, Toni. Al-Fatihah.